For Your Amusement - Parrot Jokes 2025

What side of a parrot has the most feathers?

The outside!

A talking parrot walks into a shop and asks: “Do you have peanuts?”. The shop owner replies “No, we don’t” and the parrot walks out. The following morning, the same parrot goes back to the same shop and says “Do you have peanuts?” The owner replies “No, we don’t” so the parrot leaves. The next day, the parrot goes back to the shop and asks “Do you have peanuts?” The owner, annoyed, answers “No, we don’t, and if you come back here asking for peanuts again I’ll put you in a cage.” The next day, the parrot walks in and asks “Do you have any cages? “Surprised, the shop owner replies “No, we don’t.” “Great”, the parrot says, “in that case, do you have peanuts?”

Where do pirates buy their parrot food?

Petsmarrrrrrrrt!

A man in a movie theatre notices what looks like a parrot sitting next to him. “Are you a parrot?” asked the man, surprised. “Why Yes”, said the parrot. The man asked, “What are you doing at the movies?” The parrot replied, “Well, I liked the book.”

What do you call a parrot without feathers?

Bald

A guy goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he needs a pet for his mother. The guy says that Mom lives alone and could really use some company. The Pet Shop guy says, “I have just what she needs. A parrot that can speak in 5 languages. She’ll have a lot of fun with that bird.” The guy says he’ll take the parrot and makes arrangements to have the bird delivered to his Mom. A few days pass and the man calls his mother. “Well Mom, how did you like that bird I sent?” She says, “Oh son, he was delicious!” Aghast, the guy says, “Mom, you ate that bird? Why? He could speak 5 languages! Mom says, “well, he shoulda said something.”

What do you get if you cross a parrot with a pigeon?

Voice mail.

A blind man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, “Hey man, what’s with the parrot?”

The man says, “It’s my seeing-eye parrot.”

The bartender says, “You know, most people use dogs right?

The man replies, “Yeah, but do you know how hard it is to get one of those to stay on your shoulder?”