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For Your Amusement - Parrot Jokes 2025

July 2025

The Warmups:

What does the parrot like to wear to the beach?

A beak-ini !


The "Oh Geez" for the month

A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a miniature parrot in the front seat.

“What are you doing with that parrot?” He exclaimed, “You should take it to the zoo.”

The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the parrot again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses.

The policeman pulls him over. “I thought you were going to take that parrot to the zoo!”

The man replied, “I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!”

For Your Amusement - Parrot Jokes 2025

June 2025

The Warmups:

What always succeeds?

A toothless parrot! It always sucks seeds.


The "Oh Geez" for the month

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while.  What happened, you look terrible!”

“What do you mean?  I’m fine.”

“What about that wooden leg?  You didn’t have that before.”

“Well,” said the pirate, “We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit me leg but the Doc fixed me up, and I’m fine, really.”

“Oh yeah?  Well, what about that hook?  The last time I saw you, you had both hands.”

“We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship.  I was in a sword fight and me hand was cut off but the Doc fixed me up with the hook, and I feel great, really.”

“Oh,”  said the bartender,  “What about that eye patch?  The last time you were in here you had both eyes.”

“One day when we were at sea some parrots were flying over the ship.  I looked up and one of them crapped in me eye.”

“You’re kidding,”  said the bartender,  “you couldn’t have lost an eye just from some bird crap!”

“Well, me wasn’t really used to the hook yet.”

For Your Amusement - Parrot Jokes 2025

May 2025

The Warmups:

What did the Parrot say today?

Picture this: The parrot's owner wakes up, goes in and starts a pot of coffee, goes over and removes the cover from the parrot's cage.  The parrot cocks its head, looks out at the calendar on the fridge and starts wildly flapping and squawking ... May day ... May day ... aarrrrruck !


The "Oh Geez" for the month

Two morons stand on a cliff with their arms outstretched.  One has some bungies lined up on each arm, the other has parrots lined up on his arms.

After a couple of minutes, they both leap off the cliff and fall to the ground.

Laying next to each other in intensive care at the hospital, one moron says to the other, "I don't think much of this bungie jumping."

The other moron replies, "Yeah, I'm not too keen on this paragliding either."


For Your Amusement - Parrot Jokes 2025

April 2025

The Warmups:

What side of a parrot has the most feathers?

The outside!


The "Oh Geez" for the month

A talking parrot walks into a shop and asks: “Do you have peanuts?”. The shop owner replies “No, we don’t” and the parrot walks out. The following morning, the same parrot goes back to the same shop and says “Do you have peanuts?” The owner replies “No, we don’t” so the parrot leaves. The next day, the parrot goes back to the shop and asks “Do you have peanuts?” The owner, annoyed, answers “No, we don’t, and if you come back here asking for peanuts again I’ll put you in a cage.” The next day, the parrot walks in and asks “Do you have any cages? “Surprised, the shop owner replies “No, we don’t.” “Great”, the parrot says, “in that case, do you have peanuts?”


For Your Amusement - Parrot Jokes 2025

March 2025

The Warmups:

Where do pirates buy their parrot food?

Petsmarrrrrrrrt!



The "Oh Geez" for the month

A man in a movie theatre notices what looks like a parrot sitting next to him. “Are you a parrot?” asked the man, surprised. “Why Yes”, said the parrot. The man asked, “What are you doing at the movies?” The parrot replied, “Well, I liked the book.”



For Your Amusement - Parrot Jokes 2025

February 2025

The Warmups:

What do you call a parrot without feathers?

Bald



The "Oh Geez" for the month

A guy goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he needs a pet for his mother. The guy says that Mom lives alone and could really use some company. The Pet Shop guy says, “I have just what she needs. A parrot that can speak in 5 languages. She’ll have a lot of fun with that bird.” The guy says he’ll take the parrot and makes arrangements to have the bird delivered to his Mom. A few days pass and the man calls his mother. “Well Mom, how did you like that bird I sent?” She says, “Oh son, he was delicious!” Aghast, the guy says, “Mom, you ate that bird? Why? He could speak 5 languages! Mom says, “well, he shoulda said something.”

For Your Amusement - Parrot Jokes 2025

January 2025

The Warmups:

What do you get if you cross a parrot with a pigeon?

Voice mail.



The "Oh Geez" for the month

A blind man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, “Hey man, what’s with the parrot?”

The man says, “It’s my seeing-eye parrot.”

The bartender says, “You know, most people use dogs right?

The man replies, “Yeah, but do you know how hard it is to get one of those to stay on your shoulder?”

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